Confusing relationships: we've all had them. It’s the
ex-boyfriend that still lingers as a friend. It’s the girlfriend that you have
nothing in common with anymore, but you've been friends since high school, so
she still has meaning in your life. It’s the relative you only met as a child,
but sends you birthday cards. It’s the co-worker you love personally, but
bothers you at work. Or, it’s the best friend you are suddenly a manager over.
I have balanced and
battled this phenomenon since birth because I am a female and know all too
closely the most famous of complicated relations … the “frenemy”. Some I have
learned to manage and others I have mastered. Social media works wonders! The
ex-boyfriend gets a “happy birthday” to let you know you don’t hate him, but no
private instant-messages. The girlfriend gets, “congrats” for the new baby and
lots of “likes” on her photos, but no group invite to the cocktail party. The relative
can post old photos, and suddenly you realize that her bonds with your mother
are the reason she loves you so much, and there is new appreciation. The
co-worker posts on her wall about how she loves the people she works with and
you smile. And the best friend learns that your boss is also on fb, and there
is a light-bulb moment that she can’t cross lines that might put you in an
awkward position.
There is one complicated relationship, however, that I have
spent my most solitude of moments attempting to balance. My deepest moments, my
most sincere of moments, my most complex moments have been dedicated to
understanding one that perhaps I cannot. I serve a God who crafted the
Universe, He crafted me, and He crafted my child. He has no beginning and no
end, and His Scriptures paint Him on a throne, administering The One True
Kingdom … to be revealed in all its glory one day. He is the author not simply
of life, but of death. Those who serve Him will enter the eternity He controls
and those who do not, He will cast into punishment. And yet, within these
Truths lies the Reality that He broke off a piece of Himself, His Son, to come
and walk and serve with commoners to share with a simple world a simple
message: that He is accessible.
I don’t care what you say, women may ask you to not buy a
gift and then scold you for not giving one, we may ask for an honest opinion
and then cry when you give it to us, we may tell you we hate our best friend
and then embrace her with tears and joy … but we are, at minimum, easier to understand
than This Guy. We don’t command that every knee shall bow, but sit with the
undesirables in the cafeteria. We don’t own everything in heaven and earth and
then stage our child’s birth in a barn with fifthly animals. And I assure you,
all the facebook and twittering in the world isn't helping me on this one.
It isn't much, but here is what I do know about complicated
relationships: you error on the least of consequences. The consequence of not reaching out to an
ex-boyfriend I am still friends with is that he might be offended and might
even say means things about me to other people. The consequence of being too buddy-buddy
is that I hurt My Beloved and my daughter and possibly our marriage. I choose
the first option. If I reach out to a relative I don’t know too well, I can end
up having to fork out an extra Christmas gift every year. If I don’t, I can
lose out on learning new things about my heritage and can hurt someone who
cares about me. I choose the first option.
I believe in a merciful Father, I believe in a forgiving
Father, I believe in a Father who listens and cares and hurts for us. I believe
in a Heavenly Host who lifts up the tiny chins of those on their faces before
Him and says, “You are loved.” I believe in a Savior who turns solemn and
memorized hymns into sincere praise. I believe in a Prince of Peace who hears
desperate pleas to the Almighty in times of war and opens soft arms to welcome
hurt souls into an eternity of comforts unknowable to us. I worship and bow
down to God who took a small penny from a poor woman and chose to use her as an
eternal example and picture of all He really desires from us … our best.
Brothers and Sisters, my goodness I believe in a God who
sees us in our reverent moments and reminds us He does not have to be called
down, He has always been here.
I also believe in a Father who stands waiting for the praise
He deserves while we perform for ourselves in our church services. I believe I
serve a God that is glad to hear we are working to impress the masses as a
faith community, but reminds us He needs to be impressed; that is our work
here. I believe I bow down to a Lord that remembers the era of Gothic architecture,
causing worshipers to be in a state of “awe” even as they walked in, and waits
for the same quiet and reflection as we laugh and slap high-fives in our steel
buildings. I believe this same God hears the cries and singing of third-world
villages that have no building at all, but worship in the face of those who
might kill them for their faith, then mourns to see us nod our heads at universalism
in an attempt to show we are tolerant. I believe I serve a God who knows
exactly who He is, and hurts that we do not.
And here is the key: I believe there will be many who called
Him a “friend”, but failed to revere Him as their Savior. I also believe that
as the Lord looks at them and says, “I never knew you”, there will be worship
leaders, pastors, evangelists, and well-intended Believers who will recognize
those faces as the ones that were invited to seeker-friendly services, to
small-groups around coffee, to concerts and events, to services … all tailored
to spread the message that a relationship with Christ isn't complicated at all.
May we choose to error on God picking our chins up from the
floor, wiping away undeserving tears, and mending the wounds of knees set in
constant prayer and whispering gently, “It’s okay. I am here.”
JNACK
