My dad calls me a “truth teller”. My old boss told me I was just “too honest”. And my friends often describe offensive, loud-mouthed personalities as, “ … even worse than Jen”, as though my character is distinctive enough to serve as a litmus test for others’. Sometimes I think I am just born with it, though other times my dad tells me I remind him of his older brother, other times I recognize it when my dad is risking his personal successes in favor of fending for someone else’s. I see it when my mother gets that look on her face in Sunday School and we all know she is about to disagree with the pastor. My brother didn’t get to be a jazz professor at age 27 by playing quietly in the back of a few bar gigs, either; every loud note and brave solo speaks the testimony of a “truth teller”. Genetics, maybe - but I also believe the Bible tells of a God who calls lineages into priesthood and leaderships. Perhaps there is something to the theory that generations ago God called out over Creation a family that might not know better than to speak Truth, even when it hurts. My six year-old has left me speechless often times, whether it be the days she is pointing out to kids at the McDonald’s playground that the signs says “Must Wear Socks”, or the days I fall prostrate before the Lord after I hear her address my universalist in-laws with Scripture.
It’s a rough path, being part of the truth-telling caste. I recently finished a book about the emergence of capitalism in India within the last twenty years. The fictional commentary pressed readers to consider whether a starving peoples aware of opportunity is better off than one who had long accepted their destiny. This must surely be why we are asked to have faith “like a child”; Madelynn never questions the movement of the Spirit to call others to accountability, but as adult truth-tellers, my family is often aware, broken, and sorrowful for the cross we must bear. We have lost jobs. We have risked reputation. We have squandered money for hope and justice, with no account for who might pay us back. We’ve offended and we’ve sacrificed comfortable relationships for higher purposes.
This week was one of those weeks for my family. My dad lost his job. Police work is one of those professions that requires truth-telling. And it will eventually catch up with you. As folks have posted expressions of hope and encouragement on facebook, or maybe made a phone call or two, a familiar phrase has made its way into conversations, “for such a time as this”. And what a powerful phrase it is, a reminder from Spirit-breathed Holy Scriptures, reminding us that there is a God on the Throne of Heaven who is. not. shaken. He has orchestrated all things from the beginning of time. “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them” (Romans 8:28).
“for such a time as this” comes to us in the story of Esther. An orphaned Jewish child, she grows up with her uncle. Her good fortune in the gene-pool places her in the front-runnings as she competes in what must be the most extravagant beauty-pageant modern day has account of. For a year, she was prepped with oils and perfumes and an array of servants to make her crownable. In an ironic twist, she even had a version of the stereotypical gay pageant-coach we see on reality tv, as the king’s top eunuch, Hegai, was assigned to prep her for the big competition. In the end, she becomes queen - and eventually plays a significant role in saving a line of Jews members of the king’s court were plotting against. And this is where we pull the famous greeting-card-worthy line of encouragement from, “If you keep quiet at a time like this deliverance for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relative will die. What’s more, who can say but that you have elevated to the palace for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14).
Hanging tightly to these words the other evening, as I have so many times in my life, I asked Mady if I might read her the story of Esther for her bedtime book. Being that her children’s Bible depicts drawings of a queen in beautiful robes (okay, actually an asparagus in beautiful robes, because its Veggie Tales, but still …), she was all about it.
Ever have one of those moments where you realize your perception of a Bible story comes only from the pamphlet-summaries you were read in Sunday School as a kid? LIke … you assume you actually know the story, but then realize you don’t? Yea. That happened to me. Because the first chapter of Esther isn’t about Esther at all. It’s about Vashti. Vashti was married to King Xerxes first, and was part of an extravagant party he was throwing, and like most modern parties - was off chatting with the ladies while her husband and the other men were drinking a few beers. Maybe not a few, actually, because the Scriptures tell us that ‘ol King Xerxes got drunk and found himself bragging to the other fellas about how hot his wife was. Being the King and all, he demanded that his pretty little wife come show herself off to his pals. Now, I am not an expert on Biblical cultures, but I am going to go ahead and assume that given the context of this story and the era it took place in, this might not have been the most innocent of requests. We have the habit of reading these nice little Bible stories and forgetting what the reality would have looked like. Picture Xerxes as the powerful, millionaire owner of a strip-club franchise and he asks his favorite little “pet” to come give a special dance for his high-dollar clients and suddenly stuff gets real.
Well, turns out Vashti was born to a line of truth-tellers. Because for whatever reason, this queen in about 480 BC (when women were ONLY property, tradable commodities, and killed for less) decides she’s just not going to do it. Perhaps she had said, “yes” for years and was growing weary, perhaps she herself had been drinking and suddenly had liquid-courage, or maybe Xerxes knew of her strong personality behind doors and was trying to save-face in front of other important men. I dunno, but she straight up told him she was not coming.
And he was pissed.
So pissed, as it were, that King Xerxes sent servants and advisors to the work and trouble of translating a decree in the languages of over 125 provinces in his kingdom, just to send an important message to all women: if you disobey your husband, you lose everything. And with that, Vashti was dethroned.
Ever hear a sermon preached on how Vashti was there for “such a time as this”? Me neither.
If Vashti lived today, I wonder what her friends might have said.
“Something better is going to come a long, Vashti! Don’t worry.”
“Keep dreaming, girl! I know you’ll do great things. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
“God has even bigger and better plans for you! Can’t wait to see how He works in your life!”
“When God closes one door, He opens a window.”
“Honey, as soon as Xerxes is tired of Esther, he’ll come running back to you.”
“God is just testing you; He’ll bless you for this.”
“You did the right thing. You will be rewarded for this someday.”
“Any Joel Osteen quote ____________________________.”
The Bible doesn’t tell us what happened to Vashti after she was dethroned. But I am pretty sure she was never rewarded. I am not sure the scandal led to a book deal and tv appearances. There’s nothing in Scripture that indicates she was “better off without him”, or that she went on to have a successful career as an advocate for women’s justice. I think maybe she just … got dethroned and lost everything. And as much as she hoped Esther might get the same fate (women feel so much better when we see other women suffer … fact), she had to live to see Esther be a hero and enjoy a marriage with a man who adored her enough to allow her to influence political decisions.
What exactly did Esther do, by the way? She was pretty. She was willing to lie and cover up her true identity until it benefited her. She did what Hagai told her to do, and then what her uncle told her to do. Vashti, on the other hand, made a powerful and risky decision to stand up for what she believed in. The reality is, had Vashti not been there for “such a time as this”, we would never have heard of Esther. Mordecai’s family would have been punished, as planned. I mean really, didn’t Vashti get the short end of the legendary-tale stick? And to top it all off, Esther gets a whole book of the Bible named after her. I tell you what, I have tasted the bitter experience of being called “first runner-up”, but this one takes the cake.
It’s okay to want to be an Esther. As a mother, I have selfish hopes that my daughter’s disposition to tell Truth will land her in an influential position where she is treated kindly and adored by those she helps. But much in the way Abraham was asked to lay Isaac down for sacrifice, so must I trust Jesus Christ with the plans He has for using Madelynn for His purpose, and His glory. And that may mean that at some point in her life, she will simply lose everything for standing up for what is right.
Not every broken road leads to true love. Not every closed door leads to an open window. Not every lost competition leads you to a grander victory. Not every divorce leads you to the person you were “meant to be with”. Lost jobs don’t always turn into better opportunity. Your friends might appreciate you someday for the loving Truth you had to present to them, or maybe they will genuinely resent you for the rest of your life. I dunno. What I do know is that the promise of relationships, opportunities, income, and earthly “wins” pale so terribly to the revealing someday of a grand and beautiful Kingdom, built by the loving hands of God who held you closely during it all, and used you to place every stone exactly where it needed to be, even when your limited view saw only a painful journey.
Speak Truth.
JNACK
