Paradigm Lost

There was a kid in my sixth-grade class, named Mike, who was nice, but not necessarily gifted. He is most famous for his misreading of the word, "Virginia," as "vagina." We did not fully know the meaning of this word, but we recognized it was funny to think of it as the home of the first American settlers.

The less famous Mike-story, but one I remember as clearly, is that of the tremendous time he tacked onto any peer-grading session.

Teacher: The answer to number seven is violet.
Mike: Okay, but Jenny wrote, "a shade of purple." Do I mark that wrong?
Teacher: No, Mike. That's fine.

Teacher: The answer to number eight is bovine.
Mike: Oooo, Jenny wrote, "cow" . . . wrong?
Teacher: No, Mike. That's acceptable.

Teacher: The answer to number nine is sphere.
Mike: Excuse me, Jenny has here, "ball."
Teacher: -Sigh- Yes, Mike. Ball is okay.

As I heard a speaker once explain, Mike was confusing, "blue rules" for, "red rules." (During the speaker's presentation, he asked us to make a list of rules that don't always matter .. several employees raised their hand to ask exactly how many examples needed to be included on this list . . . )

In Mike's scenario, the "red rule" would be that if a student answers oppositely or irrelevantly, it needs to be corrected. This rule cannot be broken; it would interrupt the learning process. The "blue rule" would be that the answer must be verbatim to the grading key. This rule can be broken, and no one dies.

Mike is not alone in his non-essential rule-breaking paralysis. I once had a part-time job at Kohl's, and as I was counting change one evening, a supervisor exclaimed, "Oh no! Not like that! You have to put all the pennies on the counter, and then slide then off one by one, see?" Thank God she told me.

Besides the occasional annoyance, I accept blue-rule enforcers as part of life. What concerns me beyond that simple annoyance, however, is the reality that much of Evangelical Christianity has been reduced to blue-rule enforcement. In a world dark and dying, a world that cries out for food, shelter, and hope . . . have we as Evangelicals become little more than hall monitors?

This concern came to its head in my life some time ago. My husband and I interviewed for a ministry program called, "Apartment Life," a supposedly non-denominational Christian organization that places couples in apartment buildings to reach out to people through kindness and relationships.

We were rejected. Our interviewer's "prayerful consideration" took the entire drive home. Call it a hunch, but I believe this had something to do with Keith's "wrong" answer about his salvation experience. A Catholic throughout his upbringing, Keith told her about his confirmation and the personal commitment to Christ that grew out of that tradition.

Perhaps the greatest insult was that our interviewer waited until Keith had left the room to express to me her concerns about the legitimacy of Keith's salvation.

I cannot claim to know this woman's heart, and believe with sincerity she carries with her the purest of intentions. But, somewhere in the book of Evangelical Blue Rules is a chapter on "Accepted Forms of Expressing One's Faith." In case you're curious, the guidelines state clearly that salvation stories must fit the following format: "I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior on fill in the date at fill in the name of the Baptist church." See Chapter Seventeen for acceptable denominational backgrounds.

Teacher: The answer to number ten is that we become Christians by believing that Jesus is, "The Way, the Truth, and the Life."
Mike: Okay, but what if she said, "I believe that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life . . . ," but she also put that she was taught that at a Catholic church?

Not for the purposes of boasting, for the purposes of defending what I know to be true, let me tell you about the man I married - one who loves the Lord with all his heart, with all his mind, and with all his soul.

Keith is a man who will open three or four books after church, if he has to, out of a desire to fully understand and take a stance on something the pastor mentions. He is a man who rejoices in the comfort of like-minded authors who strengthen his journey in Christ.

He is a man who once risked his own life to defend an acquaintance who was being beaten in an alleyway. He once scolded an NFL player, in public, for not treating a woman kindly.

Keith is a man who works fifty hours a week so that I can stay home with Madelynn, and never complains when he has to do the dishes on top of all that. He is a man who prays aloud every night that his daughter might grow to one day serve the Lord, and that he may continue to grow closer to me, through Christ.

How the angels must have mourned at the loss of an opportunity to place such a servant in a position of ministerial leadership. But I know they were comforted, as I was too, when God reminded them that he has placed Keith exactly where he needs to be for such a time as this.

In the words of the great St. Augustine (who, by the way, would probably get a rejection email from Apartment Life), "In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity."

Perhaps St. Agustine knew a few blue-rule enforcers...